a nocturnal paradox
12.6.99

dusty mothball memories
tiptoe cautiously through the field of my mind,
slowly entering my dreams.
They show snapshots of my former life,
when we were young, with high schoolgirl dreams
and angel-winged hearts.
It was then that we laughed at silly jokes in computer class,
danced Saturday nights away,
and hung out at Denny's, drinking chocolate shakes and
slap-happy from lack of sleep.
We were as close as sisters,
our lives were intertwined, linked together,
the constant current of friendship surging through us.
But those times have faded, as old pictures do,
and I am left with haunting visions of you.
They comfort me and disturb me, a nocturnal paradox.
You smile and beckon me closer, yet I'm afraid
to take the first step;
Afraid to watch you say goodbye again, your eyes meeting with mine
one last time.
To search my dreams for you and not find you there,
waiting for me to join you,
on a journey backward in time,
so we can recapture old memories
with the pieces of us that have been left behind.
I will visit you at night,
under a sorrow-faced moon,
I will walk among the shadows with you
in my dreams;
in sleep waves I will be connected to you
for a little while longer;
then I shall face another day
without you.


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